Episode ScriptEdit


Narrator: Beauty became separated from Bo-bobo and was confronted by smarmy and very sweaty Killalino. Then direct from cheerleading practice and just in the nick of time, I might add, Bo-bobo danced into the rescue. After a fierce battle, he defeated Killalino, saved Beauty from the dastardly duck, but found himself charged with a technical foul. However, the mystery of the mysterious boy who was mysteriously following Bo-bobo and Beauty remains a mystery.

Main EpisodeEdit

(Episode title card appears)
Bo-bobo: "BaBaBa-Ba Ba-BaBa, The Honorable King Nose Hair?"
(It's another day in Wigginsville, and the Wiggin' Gang are playing a game of Go Fish)
Underboss: Our boss, Don Patch still hasn't been found, yet.
KoPatch 1: Got any 3s?
Underboss: I sure do. (puts a card into the pile)
(Bo-bobo and Beauty walk back to the Wiggin' Gang)
Beauty: I don't see Don Patch, anywhere, do you?
Bo-bobo: I don't see, I don't know, and I don't care.
Beauty: You're just a big oaf with no feelings! (Bo-bobo suddenly breaks into tears) Oh, I'm sorry, Bo-bobo. Where did you learn to be so sensitive?
Bo-bobo: (suddenly stops crying) Drama class!
Beauty: Is that also where you learned to act like a buffoon?!
Bo-bobo: I'm famished.
(A raccoon holding a package arrives)
Raccoon: Package for you!
Beauty & Bo-bobo: Hm?
Raccoon: Hot Meal Delivery Service! Well, it was hot when I left.
Bo-bobo: (is wearing a pink apron) Lunch for little ole me?
Raccoon: I'm gonna need your stamp.
Bo-bobo: Certainly! (hums as he reaches in the pocket for a stamp, using his nose hair) Almost got it. (stamps the paper with his nose hair holding the stamp)
Raccoon: Thank you. (he drives off)
Beauty: I wonder what's in it.
Bo-bobo: Hmmm... (opens the box, and inside it surprises them)
Beauty: Ahh!
Bo-bobo: Whoa!
Beauty: It's Don Patch!
Don Patch: Bon appetite!
Beauty: You're our lunch?
(Don Patch is suddenly on a plate with an omelette with ketchup spelling "LOVE")
Bo-bobo: Well, I've had worse.
Beauty: Don't do it!
Don Patch: (hands Bo-bobo a spoon) Listen, you just chow down on me, while I do the talking, got it? (Don Patch suddenly becomes sushi) Now, you two are traveling, while battling against the Hair Hunt Troops, right?
Bo-bobo: (gets himself decked in Japanese garb) Here goes! (he takes a bite)
Beauty: Is he tasty?
Don Patch: Naturally. YOU DIDN'T USE SOY SAUCE!
Bo-bobo: I just can't.
(Don Patch breaks into a crying fit)
Don Patch: Please! You have to eat me! Eat me! Eat me!
Underboss: Don Patch, hold on, we're coming!
Don Patch: (stops crying) What's up?
Underboss: What are you doing here? Today is Graduation Day at the Wiggin' School.
Don Patch: AAAAAAHHHH! I forgot! I've got to get there. If I hurry, I might make the first bell. (rushes off to the Wiggin' School)
Beauty: I never knew Don Patch was a student.
Bo-bobo: When's recess?

(at the Wiggin' School, all students are getting ready for their last day of school, and Don Patch is no exception)
Don Patch: Phew. I just made it. I'm really gonna miss the beautiful view from this window, every day. It's so soothing. (notices something peculiar) Huh?
Bo-bobo: Don Patchie, Your lunch box! (there are bears on bikes with Bo-bobo) You forgot it!
Don Patch: Oh, no! That furry bonehead? He came here just for that?
Bo-bobo: Well, I guess we'll have to deliver. Let's charge the place!
Bear: Hm?
Bo-bobo: I'm adding in the tip! GO!
(Bo-bobo and the Bears pedal their bikes into the school)
Don Patch: (thinking) He thinks he's going to interrupt my graduation ceremony, and I was set to give a speech about cheese! I will not let him do it! (a bear enters through the window, and it scares a girl) Ah!
(several bears come in through the windows)
Don Patch: Everyone calm down. They're only bears stuffed with beans.
(a bear falls off a desk, and several bears keep going after the students, Don Patch goes out into the hallway)
Don Patch: Alright, now I'm starting to get MAAAAD! Huh?
(cherry blossom petals fall, and Bo-bobo is in the hallway, drinking tea with the Bears)
Bear A: Thank you for the wonderful tea, but next time, could you make it a vanilla latte?
Bo-bobo: Of course, what do you say, this Sunday, we barbecue some ribs?
Teacher A: Hey! What's happening, here?
Don Patch: Oh, teacher.
(Bears B, C, and D growl at the teacher)
Bo-bobo: Hold it! Mr. Teacher, I wanna thank you so much for all you've done for my little Donnie!
Teacher A: Oh, I see. You must be his guardian.
Bo-bobo: Here, I want you to have this, it's frozen pork rind soup. Well, it was frozen when I bought it, last week.
Don Patch: That's enough, mama! Now, get out!
Bo-bobo: Don Patch! Don'tcha understand I'm doing everything I can for you? Pork rind soup is out of season, now, and we can't get anymore until the harvest, next spring! That's why I felt it so important your teacher get the very last package! (cries)
Teacher A: I'm... vegan.
Bo-bobo: And you're... You're so... UNGRATEFUL!! (cries uncontrollably, and runs off)
Teacher A: Okay, time for class.
Don Patch: Right. (he and the teacher walk into the classroom)
Bo-bobo: (cries, until two students step out to see what's going on) Class has started 5 minutes ago! What kind of example are you setting?! (Attacks two students with his nose hairs)

Don Patch: Oh, man. Why couldn't he have been born in a different century? (looks at the window, and notices another odd thing) AAAHHHH!
(Bo-bobo and the bears are back in the schoolyard, doing an odd exercise)
Bears: Wig out. wig out. wig out...
(as the bears still chant "wig out."
Bo-bobo: (thinking) This reminds me of all those days in gym class. I hated gym class.
Bears: (still chanting) Wig out. Wig out. Wig out. Wig out.
(Bo-bobo notices a bear messing up the chant, rather weakly)
Bear 12: Out- out-wig. Out-wig. Out-out-wig.
(Bo-bobo goes up to the bear)
Bo-bobo: HEY! What's wrong? You're not keeping up with the others.
Bear 12: Ohhh... I'm sorry! I was sick, I was all stuffy, I couldn't practice! That's why... That's why... I'm sorry! I'm sorry! (Bo-bobo puts his hand on Bear 12's head) Ohhh...
Bo-bobo: Bear 12, are you feeling better?
Bear 12: What?
Bo-bobo: Just make sure you get plenty of rest, plenty of fluids, and don't drive any heavy machinery.
Bear 12: (crying) OHHHH, I don't believe it. What a guy.
Bo-bobo: Okay, everybody, that's it for today's Weally Wiggin' Out Exercise! And, in celebration of Bird Day, everybody dress up as your favorite kind of bird.
Don Patch: Peachy, I can hardly wait.
(back to the desk, Don Patch notices the doodles on his desk)
Don Patch: Uh-oh, didn't realize I did so much doodling on my desk. Well, since it's Graduation Day, I should give this desk a cleaning.
Bo-bobo: Psst. Hey, buddy. (Don Patch notices Bo-bobo) I got the perfect soap, right here!
(a bright bubbly background is seen)
Don Patch: Ohhh, the perfect soap?
Bo-bobo: Anti-fungal, and scented.
Don Patch: Okay, but, does it promise to leave my skin as supple as a baby's bottom?
Bo-bobo: Yes, just like that, and no diaper rash.
(Don Patch and Bo-bobo laugh, then kicks Bo-bobo out of the classroom)
Don Patch: GET OUT! (he slams the door, and Bo-bobo's afro opens up to reveal a house with a small couple running out the door)

(At the auditorium, Graduation festivities are going on)
Teacher A: We'll now have a Graduation Ceremony, followed by a car wash. When your name is called, please come get your diploma, along with a bucket and sponge. Mr. Ralph Hurl.
Ralph Hurl: Here.
Don Patch: (thinking) I think I'm going to throw up.
Teacher A: Mr. Don Patch.
Don Patch: Yes, sir. (he goes up to get his Diploma, but he notices something peculiar) AAAHHHH!!
(It's Bo-bobo and the Bears, again, and they're giving the principal a haircut)
Don Patch: Can't I even graduate in peace?
(the bears suddenly get angry at Don Patch, and have squirt guns)
Bear 1: NO! We're not gonna let you get your diploma!
Bear 2: Squirt gun squadron, take aim! (They all aim at Don Patch)
Don Patch: Uh, WHA? (is frightened)
Bo-bobo: Hey, Don Patch. SNOT FOR YOU! BaBaBa-Ba Ba-BaBa! (Attacks the bears with his nose hairs, the bears scream, and fall to the ground, Bo-bobo then hands Don Patch a diploma) It's for you, congratulations.
Don Patch: (crying) Thank you. I'm grateful.
(students cheer)
Narrator: Bo-bobo presented Don Patch his soggy diploma, and a bond of brotherhood is born. The Graduation and Celebratory Car Wash ended peacefully.

(Back in Wigginsville Town Square, Beauty and the Wiggin Gang are sitting down, playing cards, and the mysterious boy is in the crowd)
Beauty: (thinking) Hmmm. (the mysterious boy vanishes) I can't help thinking about that guy. (the scene of his arrival is seen) I wonder how he's doing.
Don Patch: Hey, dudes, I'm back.
Beauty: Ah, welcome back, Bo-bobo.
Underboss: Tell me, How'd it go?
Don Patch: I'm a graduate!
Bo-bobo: Beauty, let's go.
Beauty: Why so soon?
Bo-bobo: Wherever there is a head of hair being threatened by a criminal clipper, I'll be there.
Don Patch: (clears throat) Hold on.
Bo-bobo: Hm?
Don Patch: If you've got room for one more, I'd like to come along.
Underboss: Boss, what are you talking about? You can't leave. What's going to become of us? How will our Wiggin' Gang ever survive? Who will read to us at night, and put on our jammies?
Don Patch: Forgive me!
Underboss: Ah?
Don Patch: Sorry, but I have to do more wiggin'! When I'm with these two, I can wig out as much as I want to. And that's the real reason (points to Bo-bobo and Beauty) I am going to go on their journey with them! Uh, that's if it's alright with you.
Bo-bobo: It's no hair off my back.
Don Patch: Bo-bobo.
Bo-bobo: I'm walking.
Beauty: Wait up!
Underboss: Wherever you go, get me a T-Shirt! (cries)
(as our heroes leave Wigginsville, our mystery boy is seen spying on them, with an ice cream cone in hand)

(the eyecatch begins and ends)

(In a meadow surrounded by trees, Don Patch is enjoying the walk with Bo-BoBo and Beauty, and he's pushing a carriage, while humming a happy tune)
Beauty: Hmm.
Bo-bobo: Hmm.
Beauty: (thinking) What's he thinking? He's been silent for hours.
Bo-bobo: Hmm...
Don Patch: That's a good little Ya-ya. (the occupant turns out to be a wooden doll) And I bet you like going for a little walkie-walkie. You want some milky-milky or some juicy-juicy, honey-honey?
Beauty: Hey, do you notice that Bo-bobo is...
Beauty: Brace yourself, that's just a doll.
Don Patch: (whispering) Be quiet. Dolls have feelings, too, you know.
Beauty: We've got other problems, here.
Don Patch: (hears something) Oh.
(Bo-bobo is in a tank, he changes direction to the back of Don Patch, and aims at it)
Don Patch: Suddenly, I feel like there's a target attatched to my back. Hmmm..
(A small Bo-bobo dressed as a Commander shows up from in Bo-bobo's hair)
Miniature Bo-bobo Commander: Open fire!
Don Patch: Eeeeehh... Please, it's only a doll! I want to study ventriloquism with him! (he cries)
Bo-bobo: The tater tot.
Don Patch: Huh?
Bo-bobo: (suddenly has a laser rifle in his hand) You ate my tater tot!
(Bo-bobo shoots wildly at Don Patch with both the tank barrel and the laser rifle)
Don Patch: (yelps in pain, and is sent flying in the air) POOOOO-TAAAAA-TOOOOO!!
Beauty: That's enough. I'll go buy you some french fries!
Bo-bobo: Tater tots, tater tots! I wants salty, crispy tater tots! (crying) And there was only one left, and he ate it.
Beauty: So that means you have to turn into a tank, and blow him up?
Bo-bobo: Yeah, why not?
(Don Patch is also crying)
Beauty: Oh, Don Patch, you'll be okay.
Don Patch: (suddenly stops crying) Toughen up, soldier!
Beauty: Ah!
Don Patch: This place is a battlefield.
(Bo-bobo rolls by in his tank)
Bo-bobo: I completely agree wtih that. You've been acting like a girl, lately.
Beauty: (flustered) I- I have?! OHHHH (growls)
Narrator: Beauty begins anger management class on Tuesday.

(Later, a camp has been set up, and Don Patch keeps a fire going, Beauty brings in some firewood)
Beauty: Oh, why do I have to do all the work, here? (hears the sound of the tank moving) Huh?
Tiny Soldier A: (as Bo-bobo moves the tank into place) Little more, little more, little more. Okay, stop. (Bo-bobo stops the tank)
Tiny Soldier B: We need to replace the turrets' suspension casings.
Tiny Soldier C: Add two more arrow boosters for better traction.
Tiny Soldier D: Bring in the razor to trim the chest hairs.
Tiny Soldier E: Slide me over!
Beauty: You don't have to be so lazy, we need your help!
Tiny Soldier B: An enemy raid!
Tiny Soldier C: Enemy raid! Enemy raid!
(several tiny soldiers swarm around to fire at Beauty's butt)
Tiny Soldier B: Guard the base! (soldiers shoot at Beauty's butt) FIRE! FIRE!
Beauty: Oh, OWWWWW! (she turns around and growls at the tiny soldiers, and kicks them away with sand from her foot, then turns to Bo-bobo) Hey! Would you quit just sitting there, and go get some food or something?
(Bo-bobo is ouf ot the tank)
Bo-bobo: Huh, I do it all! (he gets up, to do what Beauty said)
Beauty: Hm. He's such a bimbo!

(back at the camp)
Beauty: Bo-bobo's still not back, yet. It's been an hour, already.
(Don Patch plays with a toy car)
Bo-bobo: I'm home!
Beauty: Great, you're finally back.
(Bo-bobo has a Hair Hunt Trooper in his bucket)
Bo-bobo: I got lucky, and caught me a big one.
Beauty: AAAAAAHHH! Hair Hunt guy!
Bo-bobo: You mean this isn't a mackeral?
Don Patch: You bonehead, he's a snapper.
Beauty: No, he's not a snapper, He's a snipper!
Don Patch: A little teriyaki sauce, you'll never know the difference.
Bo-bobo: Sounds good.
Beauty: He's a Hair Hunt Trooper!
(Bo-bobo and Don Patch are basting the Hair Hunt Trooper with sauce)
Bo-bobo: We'll fire up the barby, and add some shrimp and onions.
Don Patch: And after five minutes, we'll flip him.
Beauty: Guys, You can't cook him!
(Kodebun opens his eyes, then gets up, Bo-bobo and Don Patch scream at the sight of it, and jump away from him)
Kodebun: How did you see through my disguise, and know I was a Hair Hunt Trooper?
Beauty: Years of training.
Kodebun: It doesn't matter, anymore.
Don Patch: Our... Wha- our dinner...
Bo-bobo: ... is alive.
Kodebun: I'm the Commander of the Hair Hunt Troops, River Block. AHH... Kodebun!
Beauty: Kodebun?
Kodebun: Bo-bobo, I've come here to defeat you.
(Bo-bobo has his foot on top of Don Patch)
Don Patch: EEH! Get off my back!
Bo-bobo: Could I say something?
Kodebun: Of course.
Bo-bobo: I am...
Kodebun: Huh?
Bo-bobo: ...still really hungry.
Kodebun: That's... it?
Bo-bobo: Hm. Prepare! (does some aerial acrobatics) HUH! (attacks with spiraling nose hairs) Super Snot-For-You: Nose Hair Revolution! (Kodebun dodges the attack with ease)
Beauty: He... dodged it.
(Bo-bobo retracts his nose hair)
Kodebun: Super Snot-For-You: Nose Hair Revolution won't work on me. I have the power to read what people are thinking, which means I know exactly what attack you'll use, even before you do.
Bo-bobo: Then I won't think about the attack until after I've done it!
Don Patch: Wait.
Bo-bobo: Hm?
Don Patch: Let's really test him. (is suddenly dressed up as a chicken) BAWK, BAWWK, BAAAWK! Can you read my mind? If a feathered fowl hits a fowl ball, where's the fowl language?
Beauty: This doesn't make sense!
(Don Patch keeps clucking like a chicken)
Kodebun: (thinking) Suddenly, I'm in the mood for some hot wings!
Don Patch: Read my mind! Read my mind!
Kodebun: What else has he got? (reads Don Patch's mind)
(Don Patch is seen frolicking through a field of cucumbers)
Don Patch: I'm a cucumber, in a cool summer salad, oozing with vinaigrette dressing.
Kodebun: I prefer Thousand Island. (has a cucumber in his hand, tosses it aside, where Don Patch plays with it like a cat that he's dressed as)
Don Patch: Now, I believe you. You can read minds!
Kodebun: (thinking) So, what are you gonna do, now, Bo-bobo? Hmm, I'll just have to read his mind. Let's see what's playing. (reads his mind, but Bo-BoBo Theater starts)

Narrator: The Bo-BoBo Briefcase Theater proudly presents a story of one of the giants of the business world! Presenting Bo-BoBo in the Made-For-TV Movie - "The Perfect Pitch!"
Beauty: Wait a minute! That's not what it said, the last time!
(the scene opens to an office building)
Narrator: In a coffee-stained conference room high atop the Bo-BoBo Advertising Agency, a meeting is taking place that will someday change the world.
(The President of the Agency is a Bo-BoBo with a grey mustache, and he's laughing, several Bo-BoBos are discussing things)
Kodebun: I... I'm so confused.
Bo-BoBo A: Gentlemen, let me tell you about a product that will revolutionize the fashion industry. (he holds three balls on strings with clips) Earrings made for the Nose Hair. They're appropriately called Nose Hair Rings, and they will soon be available at kiosks at malls around the world. They come in three handsome colors: White, Black, and my personal favorite, the Red Hair Ring. (The other Bo-BoBos react in amazement) A sturdy safety clip makes for a simple and semi-painless installation. In fact up to three hair rings can be attached to a single nose hair. (the other Bo-bobos are astonished) Our research has shown that this target will do very well, if we target a certain group. Basically that would be high school girls between the ages of 16 and 16-and-a-half.
Bo-BoBo B: We have a hit!
Bo-BoBo C: Yes, I agree.
(The President is wearing MANY Nose hair rings)
Bo-BoBo D: Look, even our President is very hip!
Kodebun: WAIT A MINUTE! He's got way too many of them on!
Bo-BoBo C: We can put them inside all the Kids Meals!
Bo-BoBo B: Or free with a full tank of gas!
Bo-BoBo D: We'll make a movie - "Girl gets nose hair ring, finds true love!"
(The president laughs)
Kodebun: Don't do it! That movie's gonna bomb! (goes to shake Bo-BoBo) Wake up! Wake up! Can you hear me?
Beauty: What could Bo-BoBo be thinking about?
Don Patch: (as he's playing with a cucumber) Summer salad! Summer salad!
Kodebun: Please, I'm begging you! Wake up!
Narrator: Meanwhile, at this very moment, inside Bo's Nose.

(inside Bo-bobo's nose, the boogers are worshipping a special nose hair as the Booger Boss is performing a ritual)
Boogers: King Nosehair. Nosehair King. King Nosehair. Nosehair King. King Nosehair. Nosehair King.
Booger Boss: King Nosehair wakes up once every 3000 years. That is today, brothers. Let us welcome him with open nostrils. Oh-ho, yes! Please come out, otherwise, we'll pick it!
(outside Bo-BoBo's nose, Bo-bobo holds up nosehair rings)
Bo-bobo: Hm. Now, don't tell me, you want one.
Kodebun: No way! FREAK!
Bo-bobo: Pick a color!
Kodebun: Ugh! You're trying to distract me! I'll shave the girl's head, first! (he turns towards Beauty)
Beauty: Ah? Ah-ah-ahh! (Kodebun rushes towards Beauty, and she screams in fear)
Narrator: Meanwhile, back inside Bo's Prodigious Proboscus
(The inside of Bo-bobo's nose shakes as the mysterious nose hair glows with a golden aura)
Boogers: Ahhhhh...
Booger Boss: King Nosehair is finally awoken from his slumber, brothers!
(Outside, Kodebun is about to strike Beauty down, when his attack is blocked by a pair of strong hands, similar to Bo-bobo's)
Beauty: Oh?
(the hands belong to King Nosehair)
King Nosehair: Hey. (Beauty is slightly shocked) I hope you weren't hurt, were you, pretty lady?
Kodebun: (does some backflips) And who are you?
King Nosehair: Hmm. Well, I'm King Nosehair, but you can call me "Slick."
Kodebun: Huh?
King Nosehair: (clicks tongue) No one treats a lady like you did, and that means... You got some a'splainin' to do.
Bo-bobo: Hm, hm, hm. What's up with this nose hair? Oh, well. (Yanks the nose hair out of his nose)
King Nosehair: AAAAAAHHHH-OWWW!! Tell me that just didn't happen! NO! NO! NO-!! Three thousand years of sleeping, only to pulled like a weed from the garden! Well, I won't sit here, and be washed down the shower drain like this! Before I go, I will fulfill my life's dream, and that dream, that dream is... using a red bike to enter a bicycle race! (pedals off) YEE-HA! (laughs)
Beauty and Kodebun: Uhhhhhh...
Bo-bobo: (thinking) Great King Nosehair, I hope that one day, you find the true happiness you seek, while wandering the nasal passages of life. (Gets ready to attack)
Kodebun: Hm?
Bo-bobo: Snot For You! (Kodebun growls) Hm! (Kodebun growls, Don Patch meows) HYAH! (attacks with two nose hairs)
Kodebun: AAAAAAHHHHH!!! (falls)
Bo-bobo: Alright, time for a bike ride! (he and Don Patch have bikes)
Don Patch: Last one to the corner's a loser! HYAAAAH!
Beauty: Hey, guys. What about me?
(As Bo-bobo and Don Patch ride off, the mysterious boy still spies on Beauty)
Narrator: Unbeknownst to our travelers, this bike ride will lead to trouble. What life-changing fate awaits Bo-bobo, accidental biker Don Patch, and that bikeless bystander, Beauty? Yet, the mystery of this mysterious boy remains... a mystery!
Beauty: How long are you going to drag this mystery thing?
Narrator: D'uh, well, I, uh... You'll want them to watch the next episode, don't you? It's a dramatic thing, it's a cliffhanger, uh, device we use to... nevermind.


Beauty: What does the title, “Love Labyrinth” mean?
Don Patch: Hey, don’t touch the script! I’m the leading lady! But what happends if I forget my lines?
Bo-bobo: Silence! You should never be afraid to fail!
Beauty: That’s good advice.
Bo-bobo: You can sink your teeth into the role. You’re playing a dog!
Beauty: A dog?
Don Patch: A dog!?
Bo-bobo: The next episode of Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo, “Sushi and the Bunny Girl”!
Beauty: Say, who gets to play the bunny girl?