Episode ScriptEdit


Narrator: What happened between Bo-BoBo and his best friend? We begin with this anonymous eyewitness account.
Don Patch: (high-pitched voice; blurred-out face) Well, I thought about it for a whole 30 seconds, and I don't have a clue what happened. My mind's a blur.
Narrator: And so is your face. But one thing's crystal clear - Bo-bobo and Captain Battleship aren't buddy-buddy anymore, they're tearing each other apart! As you know from our last episode, they were fierce competitors, and best pals, until that fateful day...
Master Juice: Seventh successor to Master of Fist of Nose Hair is Bo-BoBo.
Gunkan: NO! I could've squeezed those silly oranges to a pulp!
Beauty: You never got a really good chance, I don't think that's FAI-AI-AI-AI-AIR!
Gunkan: That's the story of my life. Even as a kid, no matter how hard I trained, Master Juice never acknowledged me!
Young Bo-bobo: Hey, Master Juice, you're not fresh squeezed.
Master Juice: Well, Mother always said "Concentrate!"
Beauty: (about Master Juice) Wait a sec! How can a can of juice be a TEACHER-ER-ER-ER?!
Narrator: When the day arrived to choose the seventh nose hair heir, Bo-BoBo and Captain Battleship were the only ones there. No one else could compare.
Bo-bobo: Super Snot-For-You: Nose Hair Alley! Who's the Best in the world?! (attacks Gunkan with his nose hairs, with full force) HAH!
Gunkan: (as he is attacked) AHHHH!!! (after the attack) You still don't get it, Bo-bobo. For me, this match isn't about deciding who's the greatest nose hair fist in the world, it's about you respecting me, as a worthy opponent.
Narrator: Bo-bobo decided to give his buddy a time out. The poor guy looked pooped.
Gunkan: I don't want your pity!
Bo-BoBo: I'm on pause. I don't like to see my best buddy this way.
Gunkan: (crying) Bo-BoBo.
Narrator: But just then, his pause button released.
Bo-BoBo: (cries, attacking Gunkan) I can't stand seeing a grown man cry. It just rips my heart out!
Narrator: (crying) That's the most touching thing I've ever heard.
Beauty: What?! That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard! Bring on the new guy right away!
Narrator: Actually, I've been a little wigged out by the piranhas and their spooky trainer Katsu being turned into stone, so I'm all that anxious to find out what this new dude's gonna do next, even if he does have great hair. Couldn't we hold off a few more episodes before we bring on... Well, the producers are shaking their heads no. They say his contract starts today. If we're paying him, he's working.

Main EpisodeEdit

(Episode title card appears)
Bo-bobo: (reading the episode title) Hatenko the Hunk Has the Key to Your Heart! Ladies, be very careful.
(On a clifftop, Hatenko overlooks the forest)
Hatenko: (thinking) No trace of anyone for miles around, but I'll bet you're in there, somewhere, Bo-bobo.
Bo-bobo: (offscreen) I'm here, we're all here. (camera slowly reveals Bo-bobo dressed up as a mother bird, with baby birds chirping) No, over here. Not over there, over here. Can't you hear? I'M RIGHT OVER HERE! (Don Patch readies his gun, aimed at Bo-bobo) No! Please, don't hurt my birdies. (the baby birds chirp) Have mercy on them, I'm beggin!
Don Patch: Save your breath, Big Mama. Buh-bye, birdy.
Bo-bobo: No! (Don Patch fires his ray gun at Bo-bobo, who falls out of the tree)
Heppokomaru: That was some fall. Was it a stunt double?
Bo-bobo: My poor chicks. I must go and give them a flying lesson! (The baby chicks chirp) Mama misses you babies. I'll find a way home!
Beauty: Don't give up, she'll be back. (realizes) Yikes, I almost forgot; this isn't real, it's a sketch!
Heppokomaru: Ohh...
Don Patch: Cut! Bring up the lights! (the lights turn on, the birds still chirp) Quiet, everyone, please. NO BIRDS CHIRPING ON MY SCREENTIME! I'M JUDGING A CONTEST, I NEED YOUR ATTENTION!